Gordon's pages

This bit is somehow tied into the last section observing thoughts on pain. When I was taking classes in college, I had an interest in psychology, and took quite a few psychology classes. At that time due to personal experiences, a lot of my interest around human psychology were related to the following:

• Dreams, dream recall, and perception of time from within dreams. And/or the speed at which dreams are dreamed. How can what seemed like a 20 minute dream be dreamed in 3 seconds?
• Sleep, and the lack thereof and the effects on the human brain.
• Time and our perception of it.
• And of course, abnormal psychology. Or the study of mental illnesses. I did not end up getting this class, but ended up doing a lot of study about different mental illnesses and personality disorders out of my own curiosity.

I remember one of my last full terms in college in 2012, I was experiencing anxiety at school, and due to the strange feeling it left me with gained an interest in existentialism and read a lot of Sarte. I have since come to wonder if the derealization I experienced during this time, similar to what Sarte described is just a form of a person not trusting their own memories of what they are observing. Who knows!

Comparing the human mind or brain itself to a computer is in my opinion not a great comparison, even though I often do it. I think the readiness to make that comparison comes from the fact that a computer is the closest analog to a brain that we can understand, or that we even know exists. But just for fun, let's continue with these comparisons, mainly with memory.

Let's just say, brain's working memory would be the stack in a computer. The short term memory would be the heap, and the long term memory would be the non volatile memory. 

I have a condition due to a head injury where I have extreme difficulty keeping numbers anywhere in my mind other than on my stack. And I have to be continuously rewriting there to keep it there. In the sense that I must repeat it in my mind over and over until I can write it down. Other things on the other hand, such as a visual image, I seem to have little trouble remembering.

To continue with this comparison, sometimes things get stuck in my working memory, and seemingly continue to rewrite themselves there leaving no room for other jobs to be run. Even after clearing the stack and running said job, the persistent previous bit reappears and continues to repeat.

The heap in my brain if I were to compare in this badly explained computer language, is like a tangled spiderweb of pointers pointing to pointers pointing to pointers. Some are dead ends, and some of those intermediate pointers have values which may or may not relate to the correct pointer path to reach the actual data needed. Some of these pathways inevitably point to multiple pain values before reaching the needed memory space with the data requested. This is the part of my mind I understand the least.

The long term memory storage may or may not have been corrupted. As above there is no 1:1 storage of anything here, but every entry has multiple index locations as well as multiple addresses, and connected to other indexes and addresses. Data retrieval is not accurate at all times. Data retrieval may fail. Data retrieval may in itself corrupt original data.

Who in their right mind would design a computer like this? That question is why I do think that the human brain cannot safely be compared to a computer. If the above were talked about only a real computer, the reader may decide that said computer has corrupted/malfunctioning memory and possibly some malware. Maybe it does, but where is the software to recover this system?

At the bottom of every technological invention it seems that the solution that invention is solving is often based in avoiding human pain, or attempt at achieving one of it's antonyms, comfort.

I am no stranger to this unwelcome but ever seemingly present companion. In addiction recovery programs we are taught that pain is the reason why the addict chooses their addiction, and another type of pain is why they seek to be free of it. One has to outweigh the other before the false comfort of the addiction can be escaped.

Due to modern technology we may now avoid the majority of the pain that was inevitable in times past, but new pains have appeared. A several hour drive by car was at one time days of walking with blistered feet, or a long day on a horses back. A anesthetized surgery today fixes a condition that would be a slow painful death. A houses climate is controlled exactly so it's inhabitants are never too cold or hot. The months of waiting for a response to a letter is now received instantly in a text message.

New pains have arrived with new attempts at solutions. Layers upon layers upon layers. People are connected through technology but are separated by it. All of humans cumulative knowledge is available at our fingertips, but the attention to know what to look at is gone. We pass by our friends probably multiple times a day at a combined speed of 120 miles per hour without even noticing each other. We have so many options we don't know what to choose. Anything can be chosen with one click, and arrive at the front door in less than a day. The package's arrival brings little excitement. We are in constant communication with people near and far but nobody is communicating.

These pains are not new but old. Because there is only one pain, and comfort does not ease it at all.

It was pain in my back that pushed me to pick up learning programming again, envisioning an old future version of me in much more significant pain working the same back breaking job. It was the dull pain of the emptiness of the days that pressed me forward in this endeavor. It was that same pain that budded, flowered, then fruited, that showed me the emptiness of this new journey. A pain there is no pill for.

I sit on my cot, in this nearly empty house, the temperature set for 65F. The walls are bare, the half packed boxes in the other room cause me an internal pain just to think of them. I contemplate all this. I think of all the great inventors, that pushed and pushed and worked day and night before finally delivering that new thing that would deliver a tiny slice of new comfort to the world. What is this?

The pill for my pain when gone was it's own form of misery. If the cure is the disease, what is the next solution?

Some envision the future of humankind in a way that will merge man and machine. Machines will become man, or men will only exist inside machines. Pain will be gone for them. But so will these men. The nerves rebelling and cursing their environment is what it is to be a man. There will never be an invented thing that can heal a broken heart, or a pill to fix a broken brain.

In engineering or scientific situations, denial of possibility is a life or death situation. These things must be certain. When a human is malfunctioning must we also admit that something has gone wrong? Are we but another creatures form of technology? Can a NPC write his own code from within the game? These are questions that seem absurd but when in pain a lot of things may pass through the mind.

If the world is the most advanced, civilized, and refined in 2025 than it has ever been, why do men still make bombs? Why is the collective still so obsessed with violence? For every maker there seem to be 10 takers. 2025 is a scammers paradise, a controlling government's utopia, and a degenerates playground. As comfort increases so does corruption and wickedness. The next new thing is just another link of chain around the wage slaves neck. Is every man's end disillusionment?

It just goes saying that the closer a relationship is between two people or objects, the the more damage is caused if they are separated. Many conjoined twins would both die if seperated. I watched a video of conjoined twin sisters where their brains were attached. They could share thoughts.

Relationships must be built with care, but also seperated with care if that is to be done. If I am to transplant my fruit trees then it must be done in a way that doesnt damage the vital roots or shock the plant. Some transplants are fatal even if done in the most careful way.

I think I am writing this on my hackaday page because I don't think anyone reads these. I can write my thoughts with the benefit that somone might read them, but the relief that nobody will or maybe not for years.

The circuits in a computer have a very defined and precise relationship with each other down to the molecular level. I was thinking about this recectly then had a thought that it's not just computers, all living and non living matter is propelled and held together by electric bonds.

Entropy is also the way of all things. What is the half life of a society? A city? A family? An individual? I may have already passed halfway but theres no way to know.

I built a PicoMite computer last week and have been having a great time learning MMBasic, its a very capable language and hardware. The community over at thebackshed.com Which is the main support forum for the picomite is quite active and full of kind and helpful members. Reminds me of 2005 when i was afraid to make friends in person so I spent most of my free time socializing on forums and chat rooms.

I will probably create a project here for the PicoMite Build as it is a ton of fun, but my work has been kicking into busy season and i am in the process of moving so probably wont have much time for projects for a bit.

I love electronics and technology in general, and appreciate the many ways it has made life easier for people in general. But in many ways technology has made our lives exponentially more complicated. 

To do anything these days it seems one must 1) Sign up for an account/password, 2) Enter personal information, 3) Remember these details and log in to said service. There are technologies to make these hurdles easier, but with each of these accounts comes the risk of "identity theft". Each of these accounts whether the password is a good one or not, is at risk of getting hacked and that personal information the user was required to submit for said service is leaked to the public. In the past 5 years, this has happened with my personal data many times. Two of which were government agencies I was forced to make an account with to participate in society. After such events happen, there are weak apologies, and basically no real resolution, as the information is now digitally distributed across the world.

These are just some examples of how Technology has indeed made our lives more complicated. Working in the home building field, I run into a myriad of other ways. The US state I live in has some of the most restrictive building codes in the country, and these codes are of course to make a human residence safer, more comfortable and healthy, as well as making the home more resistant to environmental damages and provide better efficiency for heating and cooling. I have nothing against building a good building. But as these technologies to meet these ends are constantly evolving, the little details in the process of assembling a structure is always changing.

The basic and essential tools a builder uses will probably remain similar as they have for thousands of years, but there is always a new technological gadget to make the work easier or faster. It's just more things to learn.

Another great example is the internet as a free and open university of any research subject that can be imaginable. Now in 2025, pretty much anything a person wants to learn can be found on the internet, with someone kind enough to freely provide instructions on how to learn it. A dark side of the internet, according to Psychology Today, is that 30% of internet content is pornography, and 88% of that content contains violence against women. There are plenty of other mind rotting things to look at on the internet that aren't inherently harmful but just stupid. It is up to the user whether to use it as a tool to better themselves and learn, or mindlessly consume garbage.

I think the biggest two-edged sword with technology relating to society has been social media. It is pretty easy to see the negative aspects of it on society as a whole as well as individuals. But there is also something amazing about it. We have come a long way from telegrams and daily newspapers.

Finally the aspect of technology that science fiction prophets have portrayed as humanities future. George Orwell's 1984 vs Star Trek TNG. Two very different views of how technology can impact human kind. I think the majority of people would prefer a Star Trek future, but unfortunately I can't see how advanced technology can move past 1984 unless the human heart changes. As long as the people in control are ruled by greed, hatred, and self advancement over others, with no empathy for the weaker members of society, or global society on this planet will never leave an advanced technological prison.

Any great tool will be used for evil if evil people can get their hands on it. I love computers and learning how they work.

I have designed and made similar devices, starting with a RPi0w based device, and later with a pico w. Lately a lot of different ESP based handheld "dev consoles" have been popping up here on HaD, and I was thinking about it and wondering what the drive is for creating these devices. As many will mention, what will it be used for?

I remember when it all started for me back in 2014. I was realizing how invasive it was privacy wise to be carrying a smartphone with me at all times. I ditched the smartphone for a time, tried various "dumb phones", but I was also wanting to be able to send and receive emails as well as do some basic web browsing. 

It made me want a device that was a) portable, b) open source, possible to know what every running program is doing, with ability to modify in anyway, c) privacy friendly, e.g. no always listening microphones, etc.

Now there are privacy minded open source smartphones, etc. But I still think we are a long way from having truly free portable devices. Apple and Google have captured this market and also in the case with windows PC and all of these devices integrating AI, IMO privacy wise its 100x worse than it was 10 years ago.

I started developing pico w device instead of raspberry pi because of boot time, battery life, and size. It doesnt do all the things i originally wanted to accomplish, but it is a great excersize in developing truly free and open source personal and portable hardware.

With a raspberry pi device, we already know what softwarr we can run on it, so the device appearance and form is the main design challenge as well as possible addons.

With an esp32 or pico, and their limited resources, I think it is more of a challenge of creating the hardware, then when it comes to software what can we make it do?

Intelligence is an interesting word. It's origin comes from the latin word intelligere, which means "to understand".

Every creature with a brain has some form of intelligence. One could argue even living things without brains such as plants have a sort of built in intelligence, they dont understand with their thoughts, but with their bodies in reaction to their environments. Let's go even further and entertain the possibility that planetary and solar bodies have a form of intelligence where their atoms have a built in understanding of the laws of physics.

In humans there are so many different forms and levels of intelligence, it is a pity that individuals or groups are judged so harshly by other humans on what kind of intelligence they have or dont have and how much they do or dont have of it.

I think an intelligence in an Individual that could greatly benefit humanity, could harm humanity if it became a collective intelligence. And turn that upside down, a form of intelligence that would be greatly beneficial for a collective intelligence could be quite harmful to an individual. I will not get into specifics there as there are endless scenarios and applications for those thoughts.

The word artificial also has it's original roots in latin. I have always associated that word with "fake", but on more reading, it merely means something that is created by humans, as opposed to naturally occurring in nature.

I will discuss my thoughts on what people think of when they hear the term Artificial Intelligence. And keeping in mind seeing the word intelligence as "to understand".

1.  A human created, sentient being that lives in a computer, or some human created construct. A common theme in science fiction, but still a discussion in the day to day. Would this scenario have true intelligence? Absolutely. When people talk about AI, this is the bar they often set to judge whether it is "true AI" or not. If one cannot have understanding without sentience, then this makes sense. A discussion for the philosophers...
2. A seemingly sentient algolrythim, such as the LLM models we have today. They are not sentient, but in my opinion they do "understand", inasmuch as they have been trained to.
3. An algolrythim that takes in data, and outputs data in a seemingly intelligent way, but it is obvious there is not actual understanding happening. This would be like a pre programmed NPC in a game that will react in a certain way based on the data it receives from its environment. In a way still intelligent, but not so much.
4. I don't know what goes here but it would be more of a tool, a sorting algolrythim or a search engine. Facial recognition software. You ask for specific data, or it is fed data, it returns related data. In a sense it understands, because it returns (hopefully) what one is asking for, but it is just matching data points to matching patterns in a database.

In my opinion with out highly advanced quantum computers or more advanced unknown computing system, a true version of #1 is not possible. We will probably have types of #2 that are indistinguishable from #1, but deep down even though there is intelligence, and a believable facade of sentience there is no true sentience...

If #1 were ever to exist, I don't think it would be truly artificial in the sense I don't think it would be 100% human made. Probably the computer and software built to create it would merely be a type of portal for extra dimensional intelligences to exploit.

This leads to the age old fear and doom stories about truly sentient or seemingly sentient artificial intelligence. If we are building them to be sentient by giving them every piece of data we have collected about ourselves since we have been collecting data, we surely would be at a disadvantage if they decided to work against humanity. As their understanding of us would be complete, while we would have little to no understanding about them.

When I was attending community college in 2011, I was thinking a lot about time, so I ended up writing a paper (not for school) about time and my theory that it doesn't actually exist.

Unfortunately no copies of that paper exist anymore, I wish I could re read it. I am sure my ideas about time have changed a bit since then, but I still think about the base idea I had about time, at that time.

The Theory:

There is no actual time. Only Energy, Matter (which in a sense is energy in a particular order), and movement of said energy and matter.

At least I think that was the sum of the paper.

When I think about how humans measure time, it still always comes down to movement. At first, it was mainly seeing the movement of the Sun and Moon to keep track of time, as well as the movement of ones own self to have a perception of how much time has passed since starting walking, riding a horse, oscar, or sailing, etc...

We still use those methods today and we have devices and calculations to pass time to speed and get estimates of how long something will take or something did take.

How many times can we divide a second? I am sure scientists have figured this all out to the point they can with existing technology. I think there is a camera that can take a million pictures in a second. If you look at one after another, it looks like it's just one still picture. A lot can still happen in one second if things are moving fast.

Now almost all time is measured by computers of some sort, and that's how we decide how much time has passed.

A computer of any kind has a clock, I don't know how many different kinds of clocks they have but in a lot of microcontrollers it's a crystal resonator. The crystal actually deforms its shape when a voltage is applied, and in a sense moves, X many times per second (hertz), hence KiloHertz, MegaHertz, GigaHertz, etc. We are using this movement to control the flow of electricity and use that to measure time. 

I want to do more research on clocks because its fascinating to me. Last time I was reading about clocks the more accurite ones the government uses are atomic clocks, that use the resonant frequency of some sort of atom. The movement in that case are the electrons orbiting around the atoms nucleus.

How much time passed since I started writing this? About 30 minutes I would say. If I didn't know it was roughly 10:15-10:30pm when I started writing, and my phones clock says it's now 10:50pm, it would be hard to say. Only my thumbs were moving to type this out. But my cat came in and stayed for a bit then left, I estimated that to be about 10 minutes.

If there was a universe with no energy or matter, would time exist in that universe? If there is no matter to accumulate the effects of it's own movement, and there is no movement does time still pass?

I think time is real, but I don't think it's an actual thing that exists. it's more like one of the following:

• A precice measurement of some kind of movement (clocks)
• An observation of movement and following calculations.
• An observation or measurement of cumulative movement and following calculations. This could be observing decay, growth, etc.