Just for the sake of making it happen, I've designed an open-source TOMU form factor ESP32 design. It fits in a USB Type-A port.
At the very least, I've fixed the botched UART lines. I am able to flash MicroPython on to the FEMU. Unfortunately, I'm running into trouble trying to get REPL working with the latest esp-tool and MicroPython code base. I am going to troubleshoot it some more, but things seem to be manageable.