Be warned that below here is some very salty, spicy language. If you don't like swearing, you might want to skip this.
First, those goddamn Neopixels will not light. I have no idea why. I even wired one directly to the fucking Pico and got nothing. I don't know why, but I am fucking over it. At this point, all I can do it wander around the web begging for advice. That's no good.
But another issue has reared it's shit-covered, pus-riddled head: when using CircuitPython's rotaryio library, your encoder's inputs must be on sequential pins.
Let me say that again--they must fucking be on sequential fucking pins. Are you fucking kidding me?? Why isn't this shit mentioned anywhere before we get it when coding. Son of a bitch.
So that means one of two things: either I redesign the board A-FUCKING-GAIN, or I alter the code of the rotaryio library. Or shit, I don't know, achieve table-top fusion or some shit?