Sure enough the snubber seems to sort out most of the issues however the snubber for the spin cycle needed to be connected in parallel across the motor and not across the relay as the actuator seems to use an asynchronous motor and is really low current. Putting the snubber across the relay was causing the R/C circut to feed enough power to run the motor even when it was turned off.

I could adjust the values however did not have the components here to do that.

It seems that the water valve solinoids do not need snubbers in place.

Now to test the machine on a full wash cycle then back to making a more advanced version of the code with a few additional features like gentle wash and an extended spin rinse cycle as firing water in to machine while it is spinning seems to cause the clothes to rinse out a lot better than just fill, agitate and spin.