Ok, before we proceed. Let me selfishly start with a project that wasn't a failure and put the broader story into motion.

 
When I made 'The Resistoragnizer' and wrote it up, I was really just winging it. I wanted a way to store resistors on my bench for prototyping. So I threw a bunch of analog multiplexers and LEDs at a Pi Pico and plugged the whole thing into a breadboard so I could quickly find a resistor value and where it was plugged in on the breadboard. It just worked (mostly, I did need to bodge a wire) and I still use it on my bench today. For me, it's a useful tool. Win. 

I wrote that project up here on hackaday.io and I submitted the project to Hackaday staff, and it got picked up and even featured in the 'Quick Hack' segment of the podcast. So, needless to say, I was super stoked. I felt like I leveled up as a maker. Then PCBWay reached out and asked if they could sponsor my next project. They were really chill about it. Essentially, it was a 'hey, we'll make boards for your next project and all we expect is a shout out in the write up.' Which I figured was awesome and immediately knew what I wanted to do, and I can't imagine that PCBway expected what I was going to ask for. But, enough of the past. This isn't that project. We're talking about a different failure here. We'll talk about that project another time.

This is the third year that I've done some kind of stagecraft project for my kid's school play. My children are privilaged enough to atted a great school that has an awesome community theater which partners with them to do the annual school play. As I type this, the show's finale was tonight. In that finale, the set was decorated with six 8' tall pillars which are essentially rectangles that are 18" squares on an 8' span. They stand on end which have been fitted with casters. Their dimension and construction is unimportant, knowlege of them being on casters makes understanding how they were used, easier. During the play they can be moved to create different set pieces. 

Tonight, three of those pillars were fitted with an LED strip stuck to one of their corners; it was supposed to be all six. One of those strips worked... well, that one wouldn't turn off... So, let's just go with total failure. 

The requirements were pretty simple. I needed to provied additional lighting elements by attaching rgbLED strips to those pillars and control the leds on the columns remotely. I had worked on past project for the stage where I made this remote controlled lightup trident. All I needed to do was essentially the same setup but for six elements instead of one. I used ESPNOW on the trident and it should work fine here. So, I figured I knew this part and for the most part, I could lean on gpt to get the code I needed. 

Now, I just needed to drive the leds. This would be simple enough and we could use the 12v needed to power the ESP32. A MOSFET for each color could be driven from gpio each color line goes to a drain, source to ground, gate to GPIO. Rad. Let's get the power sorted out. 

For power, we need 12v with enough current to pump 16 feet of RGBW. Let's go with sealed led acid battery. --here's where I should mention budget-- that part is unclear to me. It was explained. but I'm a bit like a weak vacuum, I need to go over it a few times to pick everything up. Anyway, batteries are expensive, and trying to source SLA batteries from salvage would be time prohibited. I considered the 18650s I have from projects past. But I'm planning on gathering them all up and disposing of them. They're over 8 years old and just a house fire waiting to happen. So, I did what any asshole would do. I went to a local battery franchise and bought the 1.5 Ah SLA batteries and, at the checkout, I politely asked what their return policy is. "14 days, in like new condition" the guy responded, delivered in a tone which made clear that he understood I was essentially renting these. 

So,...