Doomsday device has been bought and sent from Japan. I bought the last one still available in the world, from what I can tell!
I have backed the Espruino Pico on Kickstarter, and it is scheduled to arrive in April.
I already have the older "big" Espruino, but it lacks USB HID support and won't get that before the Pico anyway. So it's either the Teensy or the Pico for me.
We'll see if the urge to get a working doomsday device overcomes my fear of Teensy's C++ compilation, or if I'll hold out for the Pico…