Done so far:

• Pumpkins bought (nice one for the actual jack-o-lantern and ugly one for testing)
• Some pumpkin test cuts/engraves
• ESP8266 on hand and tested (NodeMCU v2, because that's what I was able to find at home)
• DFPlayer audio module and microSD card on hand
• PIR motion sensor on hand
• PIR motion sensor modified to not output high for 20 seconds after sensing motion
• Pumpkin spice wax melts bought
• Signage LEDs on hand for illumination
• Probably some other stuff

Still needing to be done:

• Design a better Spicer face for engraving (to look less Frankenstein-like)
• Prepare and engrave pumpkin
• Program ESP8266 (and figure out how to do that along the way—this is my first ESP8266 project, somehow)
• Gather Sean Spicer audio clips (from Wikimedia Commons, I guess—there are lots of videos of him on there)
• Make a lamp out of the signage LEDs to go inside the pumpkin
• Make a wax melter
• Fit the speakers, motion sensor, and wax melter into the pumpkin
• Decide how to switch the LEDs on and off (MOSFET, I guess)
• Get it ready for Maker Faire, which is TOMORROW!
• Probably some other stuff