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Queen and Rook

A project log for Obsidian

Hacking MorningStar

Morning.StarMorning.Star 07/12/2019 at 22:282 Comments

I may have mentioned this before, but if this were a game of chess by now I've taken just about every [worthwhile] piece on the damn board. Except the King, who continues to dodge about and somehow impudently evade capture.

This is childish, an opponent with any honour or even decency would at least surrender. Its not like I gave them a choice though. Queen and Rook, all other pieces expendable except the pawns. Its a strategy they dont understand because to them the pawns are but pawns.

You cant play chess without all the pieces, they are just as important as each other.

Well, its been an interesting week if nothing else. I know its been a while since I posted, but to be honest what has happened has happened too fast and has been rather too dirty for me to soil this with.

So, I managed to convince Igor that I wasnt screwing around and actually meant business. He has an effective tentacle shield, some kind of repellant that has so far evaded every attempt to maintain a purchase on his neck for more than a moment. Nightmare... Anyway I finally managed to get him to organise a meeting with the various players in our little game - a historic moment as never before has a member of the public managed to convene with this many departments at once to resolve an issue like this in or out of court.

Actually, it wasnt so much him that organised it, I did, and then told him to do it in no uncertain terms. He thanked me for that, as he was having no luck with Arun District Council, the Black King. Well I phoned em up and gave em both barrels until they capitulated and agreed to meet with Social Services and discuss a way forward. These are the scheming shits who owe me 14 grand, and are still pursuing the ruse that I have to pay a shortfall by regulation. Everyone else says BS, but the council, well.

Unfortunately they slept on it, and then phoned up the housing agent and lied through their teeth to them off the record, and then refused to attend. Unbelievable bullshit... This leaves me in the position of owing the agency half a grand for, and having to pay the shortfall or be kicked into the ditch. I still cant get legal aid, so I'm a bit fucked really. They did that to avoid lying on record in front of social services, and covertly called the agency.

Nemesis

There's reasons for this particular class of being. One of them is a permanent invulnerability unlike any ordinary enemy. You know, when you get *really* tired of some pestilence who's annoyed you, you open the console and nuke the fucker from orbit.

Well, Igor is impervious to everything I have.

Except the Morning.Star itself, which thus far hasnt actually done anything vaguely weaponlike at all actually. You know, you build a superweapon, you expect it to go bang or something. Leave a crater. Send off a few sparks or a bit of SFX fog.

Perhaps its waiting for something. Dont blame me, I only built the damn thing. ;-)

Well another thing a Nemesis is known to do besides cheerful imperviousness, is team up with his Nemesis to thwart a more powerful foe, and then slip away during the celebrations to haunt your history as a shadowy figure evermore.

Igor finally got it, and when I informed him I had finally tired of this nonsense, he leaped to my defence. Well thats a turn-up for the books, he's decided of his own volition that this latest manoeuver by the council was rather uncalled for, and indeed unsporting even to him, as a manager of one of the most despised organisations in our land, thats actually quite an accolade.

A tip of the hat to you Sir.

And I mean that, old Igor actually got quite colourful about my rights, in a flip-floppy sort of way, and pledged to help me get my moolah back as a matter of honour.

It might also have something to do with my army, composed of angry nerds, local law enforcement, the social care sector management, doctors, psychiatric specialists - Just last night I scored a police psychiatrist who heard of me through her grapevine, after the dumbass council called the police to warn them I'm dangerously mentally unstable and a danger to myself and possibly others.

The attending officer remembered me from the early days on Hackaday, and was fascinated to learn of my record-breaking achievements. Like most of our force, they were both little more than kids, and typically in a male-female civil response role. He wished me well after a brief conversation as I'm STILL not in any trouble lol. She barely said a word. I could see her trying to figure out what my costume looks like, and whether it bulges anywhere. I wished her well... ;-)

So the psychiatrist then calls me just to make sure, because, well, those two poor bastards had to write this shit up in their notebooks, and they arent noted for hallucinating tentacles.

Well, this got back to Igor, as that is the purpose of having social and enforcement arms of law like we do, and enforcement are getting a bit tired of doing social work. And the next thing I know, Igor's offering me a sword. Yeah, whatever. I swapped him one of my weapons to use on the council and he seemed quite pleased actually.

I hope he doesnt cut himself on it, I really do.

The council however, are fucked now. Igors on the warpath waving a MorningStar on a stick, which bothers even me a little. XD

Discussions

Dr. Cockroach wrote 07/13/2019 at 10:38 point

I just hope that Igor does not press the Red Button on the weapon you swapped him with. That's like a child touching wet paint after being told not to ;-)

I hope the council gets a good hiding for this latest move :-)

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Morning.Star wrote 07/13/2019 at 11:27 point

Such are the delights of a superweapon. Nobody is stupid enough to let one off, including me, and apparently Igor. The council are a bit dumb however.

He gets it. ;-)

Yep, tentacles crossed, thanks my friend. I wish I could claim it was me hacked his baseline code and enabled Gnarly, Open Sauce, Infinite Lives and Infinite Power-Ups, but no. It was all his own work, so I respectfully gave him the hardware for it.

Keep watching folks, now it gets interesting. XD

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