Dear Internet,

Today I stuffed a green onion full of sugar like a pixie stick, to see if this is a way to make an onion which is bigger and not green.

Am I a real science-ist yet?

Actually, I used sugar water, and it was probably mixed too strong. It kind of shriveled on me within the first ten minutes. Then I spilled it in the soil and had to move the onion to another pot. This is soil for violets I had sitting around. I have no idea if it's suitable for onions.

I'm not prepared yet to do any proper experimentation, but you've got to start somewhere, to build momentum if nothing else. I don't want this to just be a looking-things-up project.

The onion is currently in a dark closet. If this one works, I will be very surprised.