With everything laid out in KiCad and boards ordered from OSH Park, I assembled the first card in my toaster oven. The touch plates didn't seem to do much. Most of the time, the LED comes on when the battery is inserted and then turns off if the OFF touch plate or anywhere on GND is touched. The ON touch plate does absolutely nothing. I don't have a test bench right now so there's not too much I feel like doing to see what the deal is, but it's still a pretty rad business card to give away.

Fig. 2 - Completed Board - the pads don't look gold, but they are

Fig. 3 - Assembled board, pre-cleanup