Its another bank holiday Monday.

Bea's daycare is closed today as a result, and today is also the first day of my Respite break. She isnt funded til 4pm, so she's going to be hassling me all day to pack her things and take her down there, while I sputter waiting for a chance to buy some fabric, zips, velcro etc and get to work.

If I make it through this without breaking something, blood vessels included, it'll be a miracle and no mistake.

I popped down the local shop for milk and bread, didnt need much as Bea's off later and didnt need a lunchbox today, and chatted to the assistant as usual. She made me think. Normally, I mind my own business and have no-one to compare myself with other than Bea, and the wonderful world of Hackaday, and dont notice my OCD, you see. But she wished me a nice break, said I should go play my guitar in the sun.

She has a point. But I showed her some photos of my latest build, and as I did realised just how advanced what I'm doing is, how audacious it is, and well, I've only gone and done it anyway. I also realised I unconsciously copied Tesla's roadster while I was at it. #Pandelphi is designed to emulate many things quite deliberately but only copies a panda directly. On the face of it though, its a bunch of servos in a spacesuit exploring the universe. Worse, its supercomputer powered, and its not even my supercomputer.

"You and your hacking" she laughed.

I'm still on benefits, still caring upaid for 102 hours a week [make that 109.5 hours this week]... People wonder why I can be either ill-tempered or irrational at times and probably view me as insane genius for it, but there is a difference between barking mad and pissed off mad, and I'm definitely in the latter demographic.

Actually, I could probably be criticised for not wanting to rule the galaxy bearing in mind the circumstances. I do have a double handful of its testicles, and I'm not letting go just because I have an itch. Thing is, I'm only interested in gaining control over said galaxy, and nevermind those I have to share it with.

There's more than enough to go around, and thats my point.

I'm not doing this any more, this isnt who or what I want to be. In fact, it disgusts me. Apple, Nintendo, what, am I supposed to be flattered? F*k you... Sorry Hackaday, but you let them steal the gifts I gave you, and the world is entertained by my suffering as well.

That stops, period. Its what my project is all about, it isnt designed to win any competition, or even destroy its competition. Its just closure before I walk away; they're my gifts to share after all, and this relationship is so lop-sided its making me ill.

Thanks for everything, Hackaday and its supporters, and to all those who've followed and supported me here, but the sad fact is humans are f*ing savages, and we're the best of them. Its still disgraceful though, I wont be treated like this, or behave like it.