• Bleeding Edges

    05/28/2018 at 07:49 0 comments

    Its another bank holiday Monday.

    Bea's daycare is closed today as a result, and today is also the first day of my Respite break. She isnt funded til 4pm, so she's going to be hassling me all day to pack her things and take her down there, while I sputter waiting for a chance to buy some fabric, zips, velcro etc and get to work.

    If I make it through this without breaking something, blood vessels included, it'll be a miracle and no mistake.

    I popped down the local shop for milk and bread, didnt need much as Bea's off later and didnt need a lunchbox today, and chatted to the assistant as usual. She made me think. Normally, I mind my own business and have no-one to compare myself with other than Bea, and the wonderful world of Hackaday, and dont notice my OCD, you see. But she wished me a nice break, said I should go play my guitar in the sun.

    She has a point. But I showed her some photos of my latest build, and as I did realised just how advanced what I'm doing is, how audacious it is, and well, I've only gone and done it anyway. I also realised I unconsciously copied Tesla's roadster while I was at it. #Pandelphi is designed to emulate many things quite deliberately but only copies a panda directly. On the face of it though, its a bunch of servos in a spacesuit exploring the universe. Worse, its supercomputer powered, and its not even my supercomputer.

    "You and your hacking" she laughed.

    I'm still on benefits, still caring upaid for 102 hours a week [make that 109.5 hours this week]... People wonder why I can be either ill-tempered or irrational at times and probably view me as insane genius for it, but there is a difference between barking mad and pissed off mad, and I'm definitely in the latter demographic.

    Actually, I could probably be criticised for not wanting to rule the galaxy bearing in mind the circumstances. I do have a double handful of its testicles, and I'm not letting go just because I have an itch. Thing is, I'm only interested in gaining control over said galaxy, and nevermind those I have to share it with.

    There's more than enough to go around, and thats my point.

    I'm not doing this any more, this isnt who or what I want to be. In fact, it disgusts me. Apple, Nintendo, what, am I supposed to be flattered? F*k you... Sorry Hackaday, but you let them steal the gifts I gave you, and the world is entertained by my suffering as well.

    That stops, period. Its what my project is all about, it isnt designed to win any competition, or even destroy its competition. Its just closure before I walk away; they're my gifts to share after all, and this relationship is so lop-sided its making me ill.

    Thanks for everything, Hackaday and its supporters, and to all those who've followed and supported me here, but the sad fact is humans are f*ing savages, and we're the best of them. Its still disgraceful though, I wont be treated like this, or behave like it.

  • Going Full Sheldon On Nintendo

    04/23/2018 at 15:34 16 comments

    Hey Nintendo. Up to your old tricks, I see.

    It used to be quite an honour to be gouged by one of the biggest gaming companies on earth. Its not so much an honour to be gouged by a bunch of hosers whose idea of innovation is to steal off a disabled person and their carer.

    Anyone who doesnt recognise Cardware and IO needs their eyes testing, but will I see a penny? Not unless I hire an international lawyer and chase you for it in Kanji, no.

    Cheers for that.

    And no, you dont get a painting, it was my and Doc's idea to make everyone play with networked cardboard robotics and social systems. I wasnt going to charge that much either, methinks good luck with spreading my Fu across the lands at the hefty sum of $79.99 for a hacking cardboard box.

    That wasnt my idea, I will grant that. But the rest is, inspired and aided by my good friend Doc, and in the Prize last year at that.


    Oh you have to be kidding me... Toy-Con. I couldnt have put it better myself.

    Would I have sold out and hacked off to Japan to be a modern Geppetto? I guess we'll never find out will we.

    One day you may regret this, Nintendo, I'm known for hacking the living daylights out of anything that winds me up.

    Luckily for you, your crap costs so much I wouldnt buy a Switch just to enter and win your competition.

    Now there's an irony. Everyone knows competitions are a companies way of saying they havent got a clue what to do next. "Ooh, I know, lets have a competition and sell the best idea on how to handle what we just nicked."

    Oh Look.

    Its Bill Nye, The Science Guy. Guess HE got paid too, he's pretty cheap.

    Here's an idea, make it even cheaper. Make it a lot, lot cheaper. Make it packaging cheaper, you twits, that was the whole point.

  • Sibling Rivalry

    04/19/2018 at 18:49 0 comments

    I thought I was done with this, and I owe some people I live alongside an apology for being suspicious of them.

    Its for good reason, while a lot of those I encounter in my home town regularly are fine, there are those who give me a lot of grief. I've always wondered why, because I dont get this anywhere else I go and am known.

    Today was no exception. Beautiful unseasonal weather brought the temperature soaring to 23C, so I grabbed my guitar and headed out to play in the sun, leaning against a wall of a nearby cathedral and have a bite of lunch while watching the world go by.

    Its an old habit, I dont busk because I'd have to declare what I made to the benefits agency and its none of their business if a complete stranger buys me a sandwich. To be honest I'm not keen on it either, I'm there for the experience...

    The world no longer walks by when I sit down and play however, it gathers round at a respectful distance and listens, and they talk about me as I try and glide among them like I used to. I seem to have graduated, as I'm not referred to as 'Boxall' but 'Him' instead. 'Its him look, he's got his guitar...' I used to find it unpleasant, I dont like the attention, but to be honest thats flattering now and nobody calls me names for it.

    Now I know where the negativity in my home town is coming from though, because I upset a lot of people clearing out the skeletons in my closet fighting Social Services over Bea's rights. Turns out, only one of them still has an axe to grind and thats just jealousy from the looks. It isnt going away either and here's why.

    My brother has a reputation to uphold, he's a DJ apparently. Yeah, I expect he's played a few records to his friends like I have, so I'm not a DJ either... I also have a reputation for being able to play half an Orchestra, which isnt strictly true since my Cello was last seen on my brothers back where it perpetuated the notion he can play it. Probably no better than I can, having never had the opportunity. I never got it back after we fell out over a family matter and havent seen him since.

    Well, you cant get on with everyone and me and Cliff are chalk and cheese. He got the looks, I got the brains. He's the Empire, I'm the Rebel Alliance. Farcebook to my Hackaday. He was popular at school, and I got my arse kicked, stuffed in rubbish bins and locked in lockers. It was a long time ago and I'd let it go, and let him get on with it when he blew up and stalked off in a huff a year ago thereabouts.

    Stood in a queue today tho, in a town miles up the coast, a couple of lads nudged each other. 'Its him look, he's got his guitar...' Thanks lads, I appreciate it, especially when you add 'but its not him you have to watch, his brothers psychotic...'

    So I apologise to any of those critics I've disparaged, but you appear to have been a victim of sibling jealousy. Cliff's my little bro, a smart and funny man but he's also a teller of tall tales and loves to be the centre of attention. And he really has a problem with my success too because I earned mine the hard way, and I'm not even keen on it.

    Sorry Bro, but I dont like my fans telling me you're a dick any more than I like yours telling me I'm a freak, so I'm setting the record straight.