Well this is a right pickle, and now I'm not sure on the ethics.
The latest conversation with the social worker didnt really go as expected. Obviously my joke of him finding me a wife fell flat on its face before I even got a chance to make it. Humourless, but never mind, I never met a sociable social worker anyway.
Fine, to business then.
It transpires that realistically, they are now prepared to offer one-to-one care in a residential block; she has her own life and space and there is a warden there constantly besides the carer. The question is now whether Bea will accept this. And there is also the same level of care offered in our home, but neither of us are happy about that either. In both scenarios I retain advocacy, but with a carer in our home it means extra work for me, clearing up after the carer and working, and extra expense preparing two sets of meals instead of one each day. Funding remains the same, and I have a stranger come to my house each day I have absolutely no desire to interact with. The same could be said for Bea...
Nobody understands Autism, not even Auteurs. The thought fills me with dread, I feel naked and violated, and now I'm stimming. If I force myself along this line of reasoning I'll become anxious and eventually aggressive. Bea exhibits some of these symptoms as well, although strictly speaking she isnt Autistic either. I understand how she feels a lot of the time though.
The social worker managed to offend me, unsurprisingly. As I've mentioned he is also a carer and one of his children is Autistic, but the situation is very different. His son attended a regular school and is looking to having a job and a life with a little assistance, mostly prompting from a carer in a supervisory role. His dad is looking forward to him growing up and moving on. This is how normal people behave, and he sees it as a goal for those with disabilities.
I have huge issues with this; 'Normal' people draw a line around themselves and their peers and bend or break those that dont fit until they do, or exclude them completely, and Bea has been excluded already. I'm not happy about him bending her to fit either, or me come to that. It isnt natural for Bea to want to have her own independent life, nor should she automatically have it. It cant even be approximated for her; work, a partner, children, social status are all probably denied her - dangling it like a carrot is just fucking cruel to someone like Bea. As cruel as excluding her from it...
And as for me, I'm unrecognised in any capacity and left to fend for myself. Well, thats all fine, I'm an adult and can take care of myself - I've proven that much, and taken care of my children with as much success. However, I am Autistic myself, been disadvantaged and discriminated against because of my daughter's disability and abused.
Normal, I am not. ;-)
He also tried to twist me up in knots over the advocacy, and tried to suggest I was free to drop Bea off at their offices, and they'd be obliged to find her care and accommodation if I was so fed up with caring. He knows full well it isnt the caring I have issues with, but the conditions that they control, and the expectation I'll accept them. Besides, what parent would drop off their kids to the authorities even if they didnt want them. It doesnt happen, why else would Social Services have a reputation of ignorance while an entire generation suffered at the hands of the democratically perverse.
I pointed out that I'd almost certainly win the day in court, which he countered with the fact that if I did it would set a precedent that would lead to other carers winning the right to pay, holiday, healthcare, insurance, etc and that would bankrupt Social Services.
Touche, sir, to destroy you would indeed be a Pyrrhic victory, denying not only me service but also all others who rely on the rather pathetic resources they provide now. But is that an excuse for systemic incompetency I hear? Sure sounds like it...
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