Utterly brilliant. I honestly can not make up the catalogue of complete and utter stupidity that runs through my life. Not much of it mine either, I have to say. Some of my decisions were questionable lol.
It seems that at every major turning point, there's been a balls-up. Feels like I'm on Candid Camera, so long now I've lost any paranoia I might have had. One of the psychological team from before explained it so;
a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.
|synonyms:||persecution complex, delusions, obsession, megalomania, monomania;|
unjustified suspicion and mistrust of other people.
I dont know about a persecution complex, I have been bullied rather a lot and six inches of sharp Sheffield steel would make anyone nervous in the wrong hands. Thats no delusion, nor was losing everything I had. And as for my inconveniently bulging portfolio... To fake that lot would require even more skill than producing it, and an extensive team of secret collaborators willing to work without credit or payment.
Would the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Now, if I were schizophrenic then I'd have the most profound personality split in history. An artist, a musician, a mathematician, a designer-engineer and a computer programmer all arguing with each other in one skull? Each gifted enough in their own right to be egoists. That would be an interesting conversation I'm sure. Enough to drive a bloke totally bat-shit crazy. He'd talk to himself in conversation with others, refer to himself in third person and be unable to function properly. He would not be able to care for himself, let alone be responsible for another human being.
I cant argue over the obsessions. So I'm obsessive? I can live with that...
Narcotics and alcohol. Yeah sure. If I knew about a drug that gave me my superpowers I'd share it with you lot for starters. Think about it, if I wanted to take over the world an army of super-nerds is exactly what I'd choose to do it with. Reality: If I didnt get off my face every now and then there would indeed be something wrong with me.
Megalomania. Yeah, I'll just tiptoe past that one and not wake it up either. Any dreams of grandeur I may ever have entertained are long gone.
By definition I dont have Monomania, unless you count Holism.
And as for an unjustified suspicion, I have evidence, and disclosure is not the action of a man terrified of consequence.
Why am I analysing all this?
Well, I uncovered more tentacles, thats why. For the last three years, as a carer, I've been entitled to funding for things like holidays. Its called the Carer Wellbeing Fund, and any full-time carer can apply for a grant of up to £300 annually. Needless to say, I'd never heard of it. Despite it being the social worker's job to signpost things like this for me, it's taken him until now to put me in touch with Carer's Support who administrate it.
Worse, their records indicated I am an ex-carer, a result of the above accusations, which is why they have not contacted me in all this time. More denial of service; social services provided them with that horse-shit in the first place, and Carers Support were more than happy to clean that up. In fact, I'm being given VIP treatment because there is little else they can do but give me a big hug. And a holiday. Thank you :-)
One wonders how many other tails this snake has.
Typically, I ran into more stonewalling over my dox. Un-fucking-believable. For starters they gleefully forwarded me a link to an application form. Yeah, they charge for information they hold on you without your knowledge or permission like the thieves they are, and they spread it over so many...
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