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Obsidian

Hacking MorningStar

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My life has been a roller-coaster and no mistake. Its all been downhill for too long though, time to do something about that.

"Say hello to my little friend..."

As a child I was bullied by my peers and ignored by my parents, my father being the worst of the lot until my mother finally managed to get us all away from him. I spent my childhood in a tiny rural English village that is frequented by royalty being the home of international Polo in the UK. Among a group of privileged youngsters I got to goal-judge and score for the rich and powerful as they played, and hung around the stables and the functions. Seemed pretty normal to me, some kids had a paper round to make some pocket money, and Royalty has always done as it pleases... So, despite wanting none of that world for myself I was already outside the working-class background I come from, and as a result didnt have many friends either. So I hid in the library and the computer room, or roamed the local countryside the rest of the time, and nobody paid attention to my dreams, not even me.

I was told not to dream, punished for not learning quickly enough and told I was useless so by the time my exams came around I just didnt bother revising, and left school to be a groundskeeper at a local hospital before I'd even passed them all with flying colours. Computers absorbed most of my free time and I didnt mind grubbing in the dirt for my keep and chasing student nurses around the accommodation.

Recreational drugs, alcohol, motorbikes, heavy metal and a series of jobs ranging from horticulture to heavy industry followed that, until I decided to see the world and find myself, and trampled back and forth all over Europe for a few months until the Wall fell. I was in Cologne, and I really wanted a piece, but I couldnt even get near it so I went back home to Blighty and wound up homeless, where I met the kids mum... That story is an epic in itself, but skipping over it just leads me to creating BLAIR, AIME and the other robots that I dreamed about as a child, and our government kindly destroyed and are preventing me from developing even today.

For what reason I cannot discern, but there must be deeper reasoning than just using me as free care for Bea because they dont get a penny from what I do.

This is the purpose of Obsidian, to hack a decent life for me an Bea out of MorningStar without putting her in care or me dying homeless and penniless, too old to care for Bea or work, and without a pension or savings - which is what the f*ing Tories have in store for me when I'm done.

I'm not down with that, I think I've got a lot more to give the planet before I'm gone for starters, and there is a sense of injustice to it even if I didnt. There's a lot more to a human being than being human, and that's all I've ever tried to do. Our so-called leaders should learn this.

If you have a suggestion or a criticism, this is the place for it. Ironically, I am the one thing I can claim very little expertise in. ;-)

  • Ethics of Warfare

    Morning.Star3 days ago 0 comments

    Well this is a right pickle, and now I'm not sure on the ethics.

    The latest conversation with the social worker didnt really go as expected. Obviously my joke of him finding me a wife fell flat on its face before I even got a chance to make it. Humourless, but never mind, I never met a sociable social worker anyway.

    Fine, to business then.

    It transpires that realistically, they are now prepared to offer one-to-one care in a residential block; she has her own life and space and there is a warden there constantly besides the carer. The question is now whether Bea will accept this. And there is also the same level of care offered in our home, but neither of us are happy about that either. In both scenarios I retain advocacy, but with a carer in our home it means extra work for me, clearing up after the carer and working, and extra expense preparing two sets of meals instead of one each day. Funding remains the same, and I have a stranger come to my house each day I have absolutely no desire to interact with. The same could be said for Bea...

    Nobody understands Autism, not even Auteurs. The thought fills me with dread, I feel naked and violated, and now I'm stimming. If I force myself along this line of reasoning I'll become anxious and eventually aggressive. Bea exhibits some of these symptoms as well, although strictly speaking she isnt Autistic either. I understand how she feels a lot of the time though.

    The social worker managed to offend me, unsurprisingly. As I've mentioned he is also a carer and one of his children is Autistic, but the situation is very different. His son attended a regular school and is looking to having a job and a life with a little assistance, mostly prompting from a carer in a supervisory role. His dad is looking forward to him growing up and moving on. This is how normal people behave, and he sees it as a goal for those with disabilities.

    I have huge issues with this; 'Normal' people draw a line around themselves and their peers and bend or break those that dont fit until they do, or exclude them completely, and Bea has been excluded already. I'm not happy about him bending her to fit either, or me come to that. It isnt natural for Bea to want to have her own independent life, nor should she automatically have it. It cant even be approximated for her; work, a partner, children, social status are all probably denied her - dangling it like a carrot is just fucking cruel to someone like Bea. As cruel as excluding her from it...

    And as for me, I'm unrecognised in any capacity and left to fend for myself. Well, thats all fine, I'm an adult and can take care of myself - I've proven that much, and taken care of my children with as much success. However, I am Autistic myself, been disadvantaged and discriminated against because of my daughter's disability and abused.

    Normal, I am not. ;-)

    He also tried to twist me up in knots over the advocacy, and tried to suggest I was free to drop Bea off at their offices, and they'd be obliged to find her care and accommodation if I was so fed up with caring. He knows full well it isnt the caring I have issues with, but the conditions that they control, and the expectation I'll accept them. Besides, what parent would drop off their kids to the authorities even if they didnt want them. It doesnt happen, why else would Social Services have a reputation of ignorance while an entire generation suffered at the hands of the democratically perverse.

    I pointed out that I'd almost certainly win the day in court, which he countered with the fact that if I did it would set a precedent that would lead to other carers winning the right to pay, holiday, healthcare, insurance, etc and that would bankrupt Social Services.

    Touche, sir, to destroy you would indeed be a Pyrrhic victory, denying not only me service but also all others who rely on the rather pathetic resources they provide now. But is that an excuse for systemic incompetency I hear? Sure sounds like it...

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  • Sabotage your own equipment...

    Morning.Star4 days ago 2 comments

    Wait, what?

    Nice one Bea. I sat her down a couple times over the last few days and tried hard to get her attention on the implications of what I'm doing on her behalf, what it will mean to her.

    Like I said, its not determination or judgement she lacks, its an inability to communicate it back - if she will pay it any attention. She just shrugs at a lot of stuff, her way of saying its not important, or she's happy with the current paradigm. She usually is, I'd know about it if she wasnt, speaking from experience.

    I tried to make her understand there would be changes because of what I was telling her, and asked her about the two options the social worker has given.

    Lol, that was almost expected, she does not want to know about living somewhere else. Well he can strike that one off the list straight away then. I explained it would be a home like this home, and I'd come and see her there. Nope, that was too much, she wont go for that. Oh well then, but not a loss.

    I also suggested someone coming here to help her, instead of Daddy. I didnt get much of a response to that to begin with either. She shrugged... Well thats a start then. A bit later I tried again, and she said 'sleep'.

    Puzzling. That either means - in context - "I'm tired, time for bed" or "At bedtime", or "Respite", which she understands as sleeping there a few nights before coming home. Yes I told her, someone else might get her ready for bed instead of me. 'Sleep' she persisted. Later still I asked her again, and got the same, sleep. "What, you want them to live here and look after you?"... 'Sleep'

    And then it dawned on me she was asking for me to find someone for us, not her. Bless her... She understands that the few girls who have been any use at all have been those that slept over, and a few of those would snuggle her duvet up against the bedbugs and the howling wind and wish her sleep tight until morning, brush stray hair off her forehead and kiss it goodnight. Like her father does...

    Lord, a woman? I have grave reservations about that, in more than one sense. I'm not about to open myself up to that again. Nobody comes THAT close to losing a tentacle and ever forgets it, I need treatment to get around the emotional damage before I'll ever be comfortable again.

    I can tell you another thing ladies, years of being told to 'piss off, nerd/freak/loser' really doesnt do much to help your case. This is going to be expensive and no mistake.


    OK so Mr Social Worker, you really want a challenge? Find me a wife. That's what the little mare wants. And I wont find one on HackaDay or round my home town, obviously. They're not exactly knocking on my door. Nor will I find one living in this shithole, speaking of my door. Even paid leaflet droppers cant be bother to scale the steps, never mind for the love of it.

    Oh he's going to enjoy this, or I will... I better phone him and break him the bad news.

  • The Emissary's head on a platter

    Morning.Star6 days ago 1 comment

    Again, the twisting lengths the government go to, to shirk responsibility and slink away unpunished when it goes wrong.

    I'm not calling this social worker incompetent any more than the last, and she should not have been allocated in the first place. Employing disabled people as social workers is disgraceful, the allowances I had to make for her, and her guide dog, and her aide, were nothing short of bully tactics. As was using her disability to protect her from recriminations when she made a mistake. Drag a disabled person into court and question their competence to obtain compensation? No, not me either...

    This one is a carer himself, and a musician, and I can honestly say he hasnt done a thing to offend me. Actually hasnt done anything at all, but thats not enough to warrant tearing his head off and mailing it to HQ with my terms stuffed in it.

  • Load the Trebuchet with the heads of your enemies.

    Morning.Star01/14/2018 at 05:45 2 comments

    Regarding your response to the complaint I sent to the County Council about its performance.

    That is not satisfactory I am afraid, you failed to address any of my key points properly, and most of them completely.

    "I recognise that you provide a significant level of unpaid..."

    Indeed I do, and yes, you do, and therein lays a significant part of my argument. I am Keri's father, and raised her single-handedly after her mother attempted to kill me more than once. Why when I and my disabled daughter are victims of an assault by a mentally unstable person under the care of Social Services are we uncounselled and uncompensated, and why when your department cruelly institutionalised Keri against her will as an adult and viciously attacked her father with no justification, are we still completely ignored and denied any service or compensation?

    You also completely ignored the historic abuse by your department. When I took representation for her legally I did so to prevent her being ignored and abused. At the time the girl was crying and throwing her arms around my neck in preference to being left to her own devices, unsupported, in an environment she hadnt chosen to be in, while I was systematically stripped of responsibility, social status and rights. She can make determination and judgement about things; what she cannot do is communicate them. She is still unhappy about the manner and location of her care, and your department still have not rectified this 3 years after I took advocacy for her. Why not?

    I speak for her and execute her affairs, I do not make her decisions. This is what advocacy means, and as her advocate I am complaining on her behalf. This does not mean I may not speak for myself though, and I do. Why are you ignoring us both?

    You know as well as I do that Keri is unable to speak and barely able to sign. You also know that your department allocated a social worker who is registered blind, to deal with her case. When she alleged that Keri had told her that she wanted to be institutionalised when she clearly did not, and then used her disability to overrule me, she made a serious error of judgement. While I would rather not drag the woman into it publicly I will if I have to, and take it as far as it will go legally too. While I also would not question her competence, I question your department's in allocating her to Keri's case. It was clearly inappropriate, as were some of her decisions. Why was she allocated?

    I'm afraid I dont believe you are sorry I am unsupported. If you were actually sorry, you would support me. Please dont fob me off with a pack of nonsense to pad out your excuses.

    "West Sussex County Council do not have direct responsibility..."

    Indeed they do not, however all three of these agencies defer to the Local Government Ombudsman's adjudication, which requires I complete your complaints procedures. They are the next step I will take to get some service out of you beyond trying to befriend me with a keyworker who has no authority to act.
    ******** is a good man, probably one of the better among you. But he was chosen very carefully, as was his predecessor, not to sort out the mess but to sweep it under the carpet. Perhaps you dont understand that I'm not gong to allow that, and ******** is not my friend, he is a representative of an enemy that chose me.

    "Support could also be offered..."

    Support was offered three years ago, and accepted on promise. It has never materialised.
    Keri was allocated a keyworker to aid her communication. This in fact came down to a half-hour meeting during which the woman signed off and gave me an illegal copy of Makaton's Core pack, a language Keri does not use, and which turned out to be the language training I was offered to become her advocate. Breach of copyright is an offence, even if it is only one copy of an entire language training system worth hundreds of pounds. If this kind of practise is systemic I dont have to tell you what I think of it....

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  • Thought as much

    Morning.Star01/12/2018 at 15:15 2 comments

    Well their response was typical, and I wasnt expecting much more.

    1 Not our problem, its yours.

    Yes we recognise you as Bea's carer and that we arent paying you to do so, and we know you dont like it. Thats what we are paid for.

    We'll see about that.

    2 Yes we are useless.

    You didnt expect us to actually do anything about that did you?

    Yeah, I do, I'm not doing it for you for free anymore. Clear up your own mess or pay someone to do it.

    3 Not our department

    We'll conveniently ignore the historic abuse and neglect by our department, and despite being part of the same organisation we'll also ignore the rest of the complaint as irrelevant.

    Did you even read my email?

    4 Right back at you.

    You chose this course of action, dont expect us to help you beyond our remit. We made you her representative so we can blame you when it all goes wrong.

    Wrong, you abused her rights under the National Disabilities Act and only barely got away with it, its only by abusing mine, unable to access legal representation that you still are getting away with it.

    5 We're so full of shit.

    We made a mission statement 3 years ago after we abused you and havent made good on it, so now we're going to deny you accepted the terms of care and representation. We're aware that this defies the logic of you accepting those terms, you're stupid.

    Fine. Talk to my solicitor.

    ...cont


  • The First Volley

    Morning.Star01/04/2018 at 10:03 0 comments

    After many threats of litigation, despite a lack of funds, it transpires that you cant just get justice when a government does wrong. Compensation is the nearest thing to justice, and you can only get it by suing an individual. It rarely gets this far, between you and that is a complaints procedure and an Ombudsman when that fails.

    OK, complaints it is then. I sent them this...

    My eldest daughter Keri was born with Dysgenesis of the Corpus Callosum, a rare and catastrophic disorder that has left her unable to speak, with severe learning difficulties and poor motor control, as well as some behavioural problems. Despite rolling like a log to move around at one year of age she was undiagnosed until she was nearly 2. When she was diagnosed we were told there werent enough recorded cases to make any statistical judgement and I was told when I asked what THAT meant, "Sorry son, we cant even tell you if she will live through childhood. You're on your own."

    That was literal, since then the strain of raising and caring for her has cost me everything.

    To begin with, my partner and the children's mother snapped under that strain pretty early. She is bipolar, and took it into her head that it was my fault. She became abusive to me and tried to kill me several times during a massive breakdown culminating in me throwing her out of the house physically after removing a knife from her grasp, witnessed by both the children. She remains absent voluntarily, although there were pitched battles in court over parental responsibility I was given custody in the end. I remain uncounselled and uncompensated.

    Now raising two children alone, one with severe disabilities, I managed 6 years before confronting Social Services with denial of service. I had not had respite, and indeed not been made aware of the service. When I was made aware, Social Services denied it existed until I threatened litigation, and then miraculously she was found a place at a care home in Worthing one weekend in 4. With some omissions that is how it remains to this day. I had a series of social workers who were all completely ineffectual and extremely irritating with it. Eventually one was found who managed our support with 6-monthly phonecalls and left us alone, and that is how things were until she became an adult.

    During this period I used the time when the kids were at school to educate myself properly, designed a series of experiments into the nature of electricity, magnetism, light and sound, chemistry and other scientific interests. I have an eidetic memory and an IQ in the 180+ range, and am by now a notorious figure on the Internet where I am known as MorningStar; hacker, inventor, mathematician and programmer with a flair for writing and performing guitar and vocal tracks, and creating photo-realistic and surreal art. I have a small but loyal following of some of the most intelligent and highly skilled people on the planet on my pages, small only because I remain on benefits to this day and cannot utilise my skills to improve my status or finances. This is because I have been given official advocacy for Keri, and because she wishes to live in the community I must support that as a legal duty against my wishes. While I am her advocate, that does not mean I'm automatically her carer, but this is how I am treated. Unpaid, I do 102 hours per week caring and receive Income Support and Carer's Allowance. Keri has EESA and PIP, and together they run the house provided by the council, barely, and with frozen benefits not for much longer.

    As Keri's parent I had advocacy, until she became an adult. When she was 19, her further education finished having gone to Fordwater Special School and been excluded from the Curriculum because she cannot read or write, and has only very basic signing to indicate needs. Her continence package was cut along with my single-parent benefits. The benefits agencies refused to recognise either me or her and I was forced to attempt to care for her on...

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Morning.Star wrote 10 hours ago point

I know you'll never read this, fat old man shuffling past me on the way into town, but if if I'm a C*nt, then that makes you a useless, stupid, mouthy, old C*nt.

Lets have some perspective here.

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