"""You're going to a carnival, and there's this tent with bizarre side show attractions. *do you go in?* Of course you do. Because there's weird shit behind that curtain."""
- Does context really matter here?
"Stop breaking shit"
- Benchoff to @alpha_ninja when he broke the Hacker Channel for the Nth time with a picture of cats.
"Um, you probably shouldn't do that"
- Benchoff after asking the Hacker Channel if it was possible to access a secret link. It turns out it wasn't so secret.
"We have a damn website. It's this website."
- Benchoff's reply to a request for a website for the Travelling Hacker Box.
"Except it’s not an android. Androids are designed to pass as humans. This is simply a humanoid robot, and the author of this article should be ashamed. I expected more out of Hackaday and Benchoff is a complete idiot. Rabble rabble I don’t have to put up with this clickbait"
- Benchoff goes third person.
"Engineers can follow instructions. I have given you instructions. Ergo…" "I seriously don’t know what to say. I repeat the same thing, every single week." "I honestly give up. I can’t explain this any more."
- Benchoff's sanity balances along a knife edge during the Hackaday Prize community voting.
"if Windows.version.beginswith("9") return Windows.98"
- Benchoff on why they couldn't name it Windows 9, "because there's some dumbass code out there".
"I'm not here to entertain you"
"Popcorn came before wifi."
- Benchoff on why the 2.4GHz band is now an ISM band.
"People liked it. It had to go."
- Benchoff tells us why he changes things.
"[Editors] sell eyeballs."
- Benchoff only does eyes, ju-, ju-, just eyes.
"I'm just saying, if you have coworkers, don't get blues"
- Benchoff out of context.
- Benchoff yelling at the stage when he is complimented for his crucial coffee production work at the Superconference (cheers
"So who watched Doctor Who tonight and is now typing fan fiction with one hand?"
- Benchoff uses his write hand.
"God damn our comments suck."
- Benchoff on hackaday.com. comments.
"what the god damn shit is this fuck"
- Benchoff checks out http://www.searlsolution.com/
"yes, yes, let's all congratulate me for thinking someone should do something"
- Benchoff accepts his award.
"Yes, I'm expensing smoke bombs"
- Benchoff's expense report.
"April Fool’s Day was last Friday, and the Internet was garbage for a day."
- Benchoff was not fooled.
"don't talk shit about the model M"
- Benchoff's precious.